Horses Don't Lie: The Mirror That Taught Me Presence Over Judgment

Horses mirror us perfectly. Our distractions, tension, or true presence. They don't lie. And lately, mine have been holding up a mirror I needed to look at.

My goals? Elevate their gaits, build lasting strength so they carry me healthily for decades. For that partnership to thrive, I must also help them regulate their natural flight instincts. The business to-dos, marketing, social posts, endless home tasks. They pull me away. Rushed sessions leave me distracted, frustrated. When external stressors dysregulate them, I default to expecting blind trust.

Last week crystallized it. A cow and calf moose appeared on our property. My horses fixated on the trees, demanding a 350m safety buffer. Impossible to reach training areas. I never saw the moose, but felt their impact through my horses' raw fear.

Humbling question: How has my training made them feel safe here?

My impulse? Push through. Ego screamed: Force it. They've never been harmed. Why this terror? Frustration hit hard, leaving me feeling a failure. Session soured for us both.

Why does their fear trigger me so deeply? Enter The Myth of Normal by Dr. Gabor Maté (audiobook gold). It illuminated how their distrust reflects on me. Exposing me as "ineffective" in some imagined future public moment. Ego spirals: They'll embarrass me. Future-judgment poisons presence.

Truth: Self-judgment builds zero trust. When they don't feel safe at home, my reaction doesn't help.

Shift to Observer Mode

Step back. Pause. Observe without judgment. Break it down in the moment. Dr. Maté's wisdom uncovered this for me. Horses demand my presence, not perfection.

Chaos to Calm Toolkit

• Presence Pause: Mid-session, breathe. Check in.
• Embodiment Scan: Notice tension. Shake it out.
• Self-First Sprint: 60 seconds in your body. Feel it.

Horses forgive quickly. Give yourself that grace.

Watch the video. May it spark your mirror moment. Sit with your horse. Observe. Notice you.

Your turn: One boundary this week to stay present?

With you in the arena,
Trish